Are You Who You Want People To Be? By ISERH Amb. Bernard

By Tunde Olorungbotemi











I heard four ladies discussing about friends.
In their conversation, they said keeping secrets with friends is not advisable because most friends are not what they really are.


They said and I quote "most friends expose what they think it's safe to keep in their hands".


One of them narrated a story in which her friend whom she trusted stabbed her in the back and collected her boyfriend whom she introduced to her.










According to her "I was with my friend one night, I was stranded, so I went to stay overnight in her place. Unfortunately for me, that night my phone was off and I needed to call my boyfriend so I borrowed my friend's phone to call him. The mistake I made after the call was not deleting the number after the call. I trusted my friend and never thought anything could ensue from it but didn't know my friend had ulterior motive.










The next day, my friend called my boyfriend and destroyed my image that 'I aren't worth whom he should be dating and that she is better than I am'. My boyfriend agreed and they both started dating, unknown to me, until I saw them both together and they both couldn't deny it. Since that day I never trusted any female friend again with my matters.


Another said, female friends are backstabbers. They are not trustworthy with one's secret kept with them.


After listening to them, I thought within myself: 'are they better than their friends?'
'Are their friends happy to have them as friends?'


These questions and more came to my mind. I felt like asking them but I restrained myself not to find myself in the middle of ladies' discussion.










These two questions below are what we should ponder on:

• Am I the kind of friend I pray to have?

I need a friend that is trustworthy. Someone I can trust with whatever I tell him/her. Someone who will not stab me in the back, etc. But are you that kind of person you want your friend to be?
Are you trustworthy?
Are you not the type that becomes jealous when your friends are ahead of you in terms of progress?
Are you not the type of friend that tries to soil and discredit the name of your friend before people, so they can see you as the good person?
Do you pray and wish your friends should grow and become good in life?
Can you offer an help to a friend to bring him/her up to your standard?










These questions are very important for each and everyone of us to ask ourselves. If your answers are no, you really need to change.


• Are my friends happy to have me as their friend?










Many girls are afraid of introducing their family members, husbands, or boyfriends to their female friends because they are afraid of their opinion and don't trust them.


Many friends can't involve their friend in their business because they can stab them in the back.










Many friends can't recommend their friends for employment, opportunities, etc, because they are not worth it and can soil their name due to their questionable character.


The fact is this 'no one is perfect' but we can actually be the kind of person we want others to be. If this is done, then the world will be a better place to live in.










Do good always, be a worthy friend. After that, you can now expect your friends to be the version of you.


BE WHO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO BE

ISERH Amb. BERNARD UTI Writes from Osun State.